... You are the treasure I cannot afford, the pearl of great price. ... You are worth my everything, you are worth it all. ...
Matthew 13:45-46:
MSG: “God’s kingdom is like a jewel merchant on the hunt for excellent pearls. Finding one that is flawless, he immediately sells everything and buys it.”
NIV: “The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.”
(The parable of the Hidden Treasure and the Pearl is one of my favorites and I mention it a lot. Sorry.)
I was in the Perk (aka a coffee shop for all of you who don't live in Gainesville) with my journal and a latte in a house cup (thanks Pat, you da best). I was reading over some passages in 1 Corinthians, and, while I'm still trying to figure out how this relates to what I actually was reading this is what I got out of it and wrote in my journal: "I talked about grace last night and how everything is of grace -- that applies to gifts from God as well."
Guys. I don't know if I've ever been more relieved or more convicted in my life. And this is why: God doesn't require His called to be qualified before He calls them. It's a cliche saying, I know, the whole "God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called," but I think it's so true and so very easy to miss at times.
If anyone knows me, when it comes to tasks I'm assigned or projects I undertake, I'm a tad bit compulsive and a lot of a perfectionist -- if I'm told to do something a certain way or if I'm aiming to do something a certain way, I get it done that way and there's usually no question about it. And a lot of times I get tunnel vision when it comes to completing something for that very reason -- I set out a plan for how I'm going to tackle what's been placed in front of me and then I implement that plan and go for it.
I honestly felt like God was saying to me at that time, "Victoria, I'm not requiring you attain a particular state before I grant you a gift. It's all based on MY grace and MY timing and MY wisdom."
And all I could think of for a response at that time was:
"Oh."Guys, we all know Christianity centers around grace -- we were freely given a salvation that no amount of works or good deeds can earn. And I think that concept applies to a lot of aspects, not just salvation. I hear a lot of people say or post something like this: "Until you are content in your singleness, don't get married or don't date." While I don't think I've ever directly said or implied this, if I have or if you've taken something I've said as something that implies this, I'd like to apologize to you now for that -- because I'd like to humbly submit tonight that this "don't date until you're content in singleness" is an error in thinking. I realize that it's usually a well-meaning piece of advice that people offer up because we all want to see our friends content and happy in God's provision, but I think the most flawed thing about his piece of advice is that it creates a work-based mentality to receiving gifts (and people like me can get caught and tangled up in that 'I need to do this to get this' mentality pretty dang quick if we're not careful).
I could go into a 2 hour typing spree about spiritual gifts and what Paul writes about singleness and marriage in 1 Corinthians, but I'm going to try and keep this short and only say a couple of things about it. So, rapid fire of a couple of points!
1) In Corinthians 7:7, the Greek word Paul would have used for "gifts" was "charisma." There are several different Greek words that could be translated to gift in English and they all imply different things -- one denotes a free gift of grace (are you seeing where this is going yet?). Charisma, the word Paul used in the passage, refers to a supernatural or spiritual gift.
2) The mini grammar lesson you just read is important because it helps us get a grasp on what kind of gift singleness actually is. It's not a gift we should have to spend time either worrying about having or trying to identify.
3) Because singleness, like salvation, is freely given by a gracious God, the questions "Do I desire marriage? Am I happy being single?" shouldn't be part of the equation. The emphasis should be on the gracious God who provides us with good and purposeful gifts meant to bring Him glory.
4) Are you staying with me still?
5) I'd like to call singleness (and marriage) a Spiritual gift -- not in the "spiritual gift" was in the sense that we've come to know in the church today such as a role or talent, but rather as a blessing -- just like salvation. It has been given to us without any merit of our own.
6) Fast forward to verse 17 in the same chapter of Corinthians. Our places in life are assigned by God.
7) Our places in life may changed based on God's calling and His assignment. Our mindsets can change and grow with these changes. There's grace for being gifted either way.
8) We are single, dating, or married right now because that's God's will for us and His assignment for us right now.
(...are eight points considered "a couple" of points because I'm honestly not too sure but continuing on regardless...)
Are you seeing what I'm seeing?
To apply it in relation to the season I'm in now if you're not grasping the concept yet:
I am single right now because that's God's will for me right now. And that's it. It's not because I am too young, too immature, too tall, too quiet, too loud, too smart, too busy, too demanding, too picky, too expecting -- not because I have failed in the past or because I wasn't being "good enough" in the present, but because God apportioned this gift to me today and that's why I am single today.
So that is why I'd like to suggest that the "Don't date or marry until you're completely content in singleness" advice is a little off the mark. Don't get me wrong, I definitely think we should listen (and listen humbly and intently) to our friends and receive their input about cultivating contentment, but we definitely shouldn't attach commitment to an expectation of a blessing. It's OKAY to desire a relationship -- we were created for community -- you can have a healthy relationship with Christ while having a healthy desire for a relationship -- and that's the beauty of it all.
So back to the Pearl of Great Price, why is it on my heart again tonight? Because it illustrates the one thing we are called to do regardless of what gifts we have: we are called to find the pearl of great value, seek it, and purchase it using everything we've got. I am not called to "better myself" to earn certain gifts, but rather I am called to simply passionately and pursue God with everything I have in me. Because He's the Pearl of Great Price, and his gifts and blessings will ALWAYS be worth more than what we sacrificed to pursue Him. He's worth everything, and He's worth my all.
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